Chasing Sunsets
San Diego, CA
I chase sunsets, quite literally.
I don’t know how many times I’ve bolted through my front door, running after the piercing red rays I glimpsed through the window. “The sun sets everyday,” they say, “There’s no need to chase it.” But I think there’s a sort of beauty in appreciating something we consider so constant. When I’m standing alone, looking out over the horizon, nothing matters, and everything matters. I realize that the world is so much bigger than the little bubble I live in everyday. The multitude of tiny irritations I grapple with throughout the day seem irrelevant, trivial, silly. I spin in place as I continue to look up, to look around. I’m in awe that this world exists and that I live in it. As the sun slips below the horizon (I’ve always found it interesting how quickly that happens), an overwhelming sense of peace and calm engulfs me. In that moment, I’m reminded that I’m okay, that it’s all okay. As the light fades from the sky, it hits me that time is often the biggest and most precious blessing. No, life is not a race (except when I’m chasing the sunset), and I should squeeze the maximum potential out of every second. I’ve watched countless sunsets, but each one leaves me feeling more content and more in touch with myself.
And then, there’s night. A velvet blanket drizzled with sparkles, the night inspires me like nothing else. Minutes slip into hours as my brain buzzes with thoughts and ideas and fantasies. I yearn to create, to unleash the sudden energy pulsing through me. I watch the moon, dutifully waxing and waning throughout the month. Forever earth’s companion, the moon gives me company in the silence of the night. My family heads to sleep, but not me, and not the moon. [insert more]
I find it sad how rarely we can see the stars, competing endlessly with human-made light whose artificial glow pollutes the atmosphere. But having seen the Milky Way in full glory, I can confidently say that what we make will never compare. Time has no meaning when I’m under the stars - I’m too in awe of it all. I wonder if the stars know how many pensive, hopeful, sorrowful, and optimistic eyes watch them night after night. I feel like they’re watching me back, twinkling in their loyal formations. Like stars, we form our own little constellations with the people we love. We form connections (both positive and negative) that become a part of us. Like stars, there are nights we shine, and nights we don’t. And we may not know it, but there are some constellations that simply would not look right or shine as brightly without our presence in them.
Like the universe, our potential too is ever-expanding. We go through the motions of life in hopes that we’ll reach something better tomorrow, next week, or next year. We keep chasing, we’re always chasing. I know that I am. I know that sinking feeling of driving to a scenic spot to watch the sunset only to arrive too late and get only the final smears of color. Sometimes it’s okay to just watch through the window, because at least that gives me the colors in all their vibrancy.
So I ask myself, always: How can I make the most of this moment? How can I find the happiness/success/love/accomplishments/friendships I keep chasing, right here, right now?
The sky reminds me how beautiful life is, that amidst the chaos of my personal universe,
the sun continues to rise and set,
the moon will always wax and wane,
and the stars remain in their sparkling constellations.
